Alcohol – Parent UP KC

What To Do if Other Adults Provide Alcohol to Minors

May 1, 2026 by KCadmin

This month a local mom, Nancy B., describes a dilemma other parents and caregivers may relate to:

“There were two kids passed out on the couch.” This is what my son just told me. It was one of those special moments when my teenager actually opened up to me about his weekend and his friends. He was vulnerable, and I could tell that he was scared I was going to get really mad. I tried really hard to maintain composure, just listening, waiting for him to tell me more.

He explained that he didn’t drink but all his friends did, some of them drinking so much they passed out. I asked about the parents, and he shared that they were upstairs and they knew that everyone was drinking— it was the parents who bought the alcohol. Then he went quiet – he really didn’t want me to dislike those parents or his friends.

I consoled my son, thanking him for confiding in me and telling him I was so proud for not drinking. I told him that he can always call me if kids start drinking and I’d come get him ASAP. I gave him a hug.

Phew. My heart pounded as I left the conversation. On one hand, my kid was fine. He did the right thing and I’m so glad he was honest with me. On the other hand, I was furious that this parent provided alcohol to MY kid and his friends. Didn’t they know they were setting up kids for so many risks to their brain, body, and future?

Alarming Stats

At Parent Up KC, we hear stories like this from parents too commonly. They’re angry that the providers of alcohol are other adults or parents who should know better.
The alarming truth is that kids in the Kansas City Northland rarely get alcohol from retailers; their source is usually older friends or family members.

In the Missouri Student Survey conducted in 2024, 62.2% of adolescents claimed to have acquired alcohol through a friend, while 41.6% stated that they got alcohol through family members.

And while parents may think they’re doing the right thing because they’re “supervising” the situation, the reality is that they’re contributing to the problem – and worse – potentially causing harm. Research shows that teens whose parents provide alcohol – even with rules or supervision – are more likely to:

Drink more often
Drink more heavily
Experience alcohol-related harm

Providing alcohol does not protect teens and actually increases harm.

Now What?

As a parent, the steps you take today will have a profound impact on the health and future well-being of your children. That’s why it’s crucial to speak up and play a proactive role in preventing underage drinking. Parent Up provides a ton of resources for having conversations with your child about underage drinking so they’re more likely to make the right decision in the moment.

If you find yourself in a sticky situation similar to Nancy’s in the story above, you may feel conflicted on what to do.
Here are a few approaches you can take if you discover that other adults are providing alcohol or allowing underage drinking:

Contact the adults involved directly
Notify your child’s school or other parents
Contact local law enforcement’s non-emergency number

If you don’t feel comfortable taking these steps or they’re not the best options for your situation, we’ve created an anonymous warning letter you can send. It’s a sensitively written letter that informs the adult that it is known they provided alcohol to minors and outlines the dangers associated with underage drinking.

At Parent Up, our mission is to equip parents with facts, resources and tools to prevent underage drinking in the Northland. To learn more about what you can do to prevent underage drinking, check out our Prevent Alcohol Use page.

– Parent Up KC Staff

To the Parents of Our 2026 High School Graduates

April 14, 2026 by KCadmin

Dear Parents & Guardians,

Graduation is upon us and it’s time to celebrate your child’s accomplishments and achievements! As you prepare to launch your child into adulthood, keep in mind that most kids value their parent’s advice when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Parent Up is here with some reminders and action steps about how you can protect their celebration and their future:

Communicate with your teen that alcohol is bad for their brain and they should not drink before age 21. Drinking by those under age of 21 is strongly linked with increased risk for alcohol dependence later in life because the brain is still developing until the mid-twenties. Minors who drink are also more likely to use other drugs, have poorer academic performance, engage in risky sexual behaviors, and be injured or assaulted. Tell your child you don’t want them to risk their future, reputation, or safety, and you expect them to remain alcohol-free.

Create a game plan with your child so if they are offered alcohol, they know what to do. For example, help brainstorm excuses for saying no and develop a code word that your child can text you to let you know they are in a situation where they feel unsafe.

Stick with the majority of Northland parents that don’t provide alcohol or allow their child to drink, even on special occasions like graduation! Research shows that when parents allow, provide, or supervise teen drinking, it sends a false message that alcohol is safe for their underdeveloped brain.

By working together with your teen, expressing your concern for their health and safety, and setting clear and consistent expectations, you can ensure that this celebration is a positive memory they’ll have forever.

Congratulations to all the graduates of the class of 2026! And congratulations parents & caregivers!

Sincerely,
Parent Up KC

Prom Is Coming! Parents Matter More Than You Think

March 18, 2026 by KCadmin

Parent Up | Prom is Coming! Parents Matter More Than You Know

Prom is one of the most exciting nights of high school:
Photos. Friends. Big plans. Big memories.

And while most teens in the Kansas City Northland celebrate safely without alcohol, prom season can bring added pressure and opportunity. After-parties and late nights can create situations where teens may be offered alcohol — even if they don’t typically drink.

Here’s what research tells us:

Parents still matter. A lot.

Teens who feel connected to their parents and know their family’s expectations are less likely to use alcohol — even in their later high school years. Clear rules and calm conversations go further than many parents realize.

You don’t need a long lecture. Just clarity, consistency, and connection.

Prom should be remembered for the right reasons. A few minutes of preparation now can make a big difference later.

👉 Take the 2026 Parent Up Prom Commitment and make your plan before prom night!

– Parent Up KC Staff

Four Simple Steps Parents Can Take Before Prom Night

March 18, 2026 by KCadmin

Prom safety doesn’t require perfection — just intention.

Before prom weekend, consider taking these four simple steps:

Have a calm, clear conversation.
Let your teen know your expectations around alcohol and other substances.
Ask about the details.
Who will they be with? Where are they going after? Who is driving? What time will they be home?
Make a safety plan.
What should they do if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe? Who should they text or call?
Reinforce the norm.
Most teens don’t drink — and most parents don’t provide alcohol. Remind your teen they’re in the majority when they choose not to drink.

Small actions make a big difference — especially during high-risk events like prom.

👉 Take five minutes to complete the 2026 Parent Up Prom Commitment and help make this prom season safe, memorable, and alcohol-free!

– Parent Up KC Staff

A Clear Message from Clay, Platte and Ray Prosecutors: “Don’t Provide Alcohol to Minors”

May 5, 2025 by KCadmin

As the school year wraps up and the summer season approaches, Parent Up is joining with local prosecutors and prevention coalitions to remind parents and caring adults of their crucial role in preventing underage drinking.

The overwhelming majority of youth are not engaging in substance use because the adults in their lives are protecting their health and safety.

Local prosecutors witness first-hand the tragic and avoidable harm caused by alcohol and drug misuse, and feel the negative consequences are even more significant when it happens among teens.

In response, our prosecuting attorneys in Clay, Platte, and Ray counties have partnered with Parent Up’s Parent are Rock Stars campaign and have issued letters to Northland parents and caregivers, reminding them that providing alcohol to anyone under the age of 21 is illegal—and encouraging them to talk to their children about remaining alcohol-free. This partnership aims to empower all Northland parents and caregivers to set firm boundaries, have clear conversations, and take action appropriate action if they learn of underage drinking. Read each county prosecutor’s letter below:

This partnership aims to empower all Northland parents and caregivers to set firm boundaries, have clear conversations, and take action appropriate action if they learn of underage drinking.

Parent Up is here to help as we navigate these discussions with our kids and fellow parents. We have age appropriate conversation guides, tips for navigating the prom and graduation season, and some creative ideas for you to take action if you know of adults who are providing alcohol to minors.

If you want to learn more about how you can help or need resources to talk to your child about alcohol, head on over to our Alcohol Page.

– Parent Up Staff

How to Keep Our Kids Merry and Bright Now and All Year Long

December 10, 2024 by KCadmin

It’s the holiday season and here at Parent Up, we are intentionally celebrating the joy, creativity, and resilience of area youth. We also celebrate YOU, the parents, guardians, and other caring adults who are following along, learning, listening, and taking action, even when it isn’t always easy.

With the threats of deadly fentanyl, new discreet nicotine products, and the now-more-available-than-ever potent-THC packed cannabis posing risks to young brains, Parent Up is rounding out the year with some encouragement and tried-and-true tips for keeping our kids merry and bright now and all year long:

Set no-use expectations when it comes to vaping, alcohol, marijuana, and other substances.
Teen substance use harms the developing brain and puts youth at higher risk for mental health problems and addiction throughout life. Let’s ensure kids know we care about their health and well-being, and that’s why we want them to stay drug-free. You can do this without threatening by saying something like, “I really care about your health and safety, and I don’t want you risking that by vaping or using marijuana. Your brain is not done growing so it’s even more important at this time in your life that you don’t use any drugs like alcohol, nicotine, unprescribed pills, or marijuana.” Or something like this, “Friends around you might tell you that drugs or alcohol help with that, but I really care about you and want you to not use alcohol, vapes, or any marijuana to protect you now and in the future.”
Be curious and keep the dialogue about substances open.
Ask kids what they think or have heard about alcohol, vaping, marijuana, and other drugs. Be curious and open-minded about their experiences. It’s more important – and effective– to listen and discuss rather than to lecture. Ask them questions about what they think about marijuana. Ask them what they know or what they’ve heard about vaping at school or from friends. Finding out what our teens know and think about substances first helps us know where to start our conversations. Use “teachable moments” to start conversations too. Use public service announcements, stories on the news, TV plot lines, pop culture or current issues at school or in the community to spur on your conversations.
There’s an important second part to this advice: Let kids know they can come to you or other trusted adults for help with peer pressure, stress, or anxiety. Kids need to hear that their well-being is a priority and that they have options for relief other than taking matters into their own hands.
Prepare kids for peer pressure.
Help youth gain confidence to say “no” to alcohol, marijuana, and other drugs by practicing scenarios and brainstorming what they might say if they’re offered to them. “What do you do if you are in a social setting and you’re uncomfortable with what is happening?” Or ask, “What if someone is offering you something — what are you going to say?” Practice this with teens, even if they groan at you and don’t want to do it. Even if you don’t get them to say the words, if you can say the words and at least put them in their brain, they will be more likely to use that strategy when the moment comes. We also recommend teens memorize the phone numbers of two trusted adults so they always have someone to call to get out of an uncomfortable situation, even if their phone is dead.

Watch for early signs or symptoms of substance use.
As parents and caregivers, we know our kids best so if something seems off, we should take action. General early signs of substance use could include: Changes in appearance, changes in friend groups, grades dropping, and/or secretive behavior. Find more specific early warnings signs for underage drinking, marijuana use, teen vaping, and prescription drug misuse on our Drug Topics page. If you need help for your child and are worried your child may be using alcohol or other drugs, the Partnership to End Addiction can help.

Our kids are more resilient and better off with your support! We wish you well this holiday season and into the new year.

– The Parent Up KC Team

An Open Letter to My Son about Underage Drinking

February 9, 2026May 3, 2024 by KCadmin

When my, now 25-year-old, son was entering 10th grade, I started getting a lot of questions from family and friends. They wondered how I was going to handle his inevitable experimentation with alcohol. When I expressed the idea that Tom might decide not to drink until he was 21, I was accused of living under a rock. It was just assumed that my son would drink, no matter what I thought or said. When the subject came up with other parents, a frequent response I got was, “I don’t want my kid to drink, but of course they will,” or “Kids will be kids.” And my personal favorite, “Well, we did it when we were their age.”

Really? Is this the criteria we are going to base our parenting on? I’ve always felt it’s my job as a parent to set the boundary and my kid’s job to test it. Because I’m a writer and blogger, I decided to write my feelings about this in a letter to my son.

I wanted Tom to know where my husband and I stood on engaging in behaviors that are at best risky and at worst illegal or life-threatening. I joked that at least he could never say he didn’t know how I felt. I expected some people to disagree with me. I knew members in my own family, including my dad, did. But I never expected the letter would go viral, being shared hundreds of thousands of times. And that even ten years later, I would still on occasion be contacted about it.

Recently, Tom and I were discussing the fact that he chose not to drink until he turned 21. I never thought my letter was a real factor in his choice. I thought it had more to do with having friends that just weren’t into drinking. In fact, even though they are now over 21 and can legally drink, alcohol just isn’t a big part of their lives.

So I was surprised when he said that the letter did play a part in his choice. Well, not the letter as much as what it represented. Tom knew exactly how we felt. We had many honest discussions about the dangers of drinking, especially the dangers of binge drinking. But the letter was a tangible reminder.

I want to be very clear, I don’t think I’m a good parent because my kid didn’t drink before he was 21. And I don’t think someone is a bad parent if their kid does choose to drink before the legal age. I do think our kids deserve a clear answer on how we feel about underage drinking. And if it’s a behavior we don’t want them to engage in, I think we should tell them.

________________________________________________________________________

Dear Tom,

The legal drinking age in this country is 21. Please know that dad and I will never allow you to have alcohol in our house or in our presence until you reach that age. Please also know that no good has ever come from a group of teenagers drinking. It’s a recipe for all kinds of disasters. If you should choose to drink, you’ll not only be breaking the rules of our house, you’ll be breaking the law. If you get stopped for driving under the influence, or the police get called to a party where you have been drinking, you may be in a position where we can’t protect you.

Always call me and your dad. ALWAYS. No matter what you have done. Don’t ever follow up a bad choice with one that’s worse just because you’re afraid of disappointing us or making us angry. Will we be happy? Of course not. But we would much rather get you and any friend who wants to come with you home safely, than get a call saying you are NEVER coming home.

Let me be clear that the fact that we love you and will stand by you does not in any way mean we will stand by while you do things that you know aren’t good for you. There are those who will tell you that your parents are being unreasonable and totally unrealistic. Some may tell you that you are a teenager and it’s a rite of passage to get drunk. They may even regale you with stories of their own youthful mistakes.

Listen to your own heart and trust your gut. Also know there is nothing cool about waking up in your own vomit, or having a DUI before you are 18. Your father and I are so proud of the man you are becoming. We love you so much that we don’t care if you hate us. That’s our gift to you — we are your parents, not your friends.

Always, Mom

________________________________________________________________________

Kathy Radigan is a midlife writer, blogger, disability advocate, wife to one and mom of three. She began her online life with her blog, My Dishwasher’s Possessed!, and her work has been featured in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Yahoo, Her View From Home, TODAY Parents, Romper, and many other online publications. Her current project, The Forever Nest by Kathy Radigan, shares her experience as a parent to a daughter with high support needs.

Note: First published on May 1, 2021, this Insight has been updated by Parent Up staff for May 2024.

A Letter to the Parents of Our 2023 High School Graduates

May 8, 2024May 5, 2023 by KCadmin

Dear Parents and Guardians,

Parent Up is here with some reminders and action steps about how you can protect their celebration and their future:

Communicate with your teen that alcohol is bad for their brain and they should not drink before age 21. Drinking by those below the age of 21 is strongly linked with increased risk for alcohol dependence later in life because the brain is still developing until the mid-twenties. Minors who drink are also more likely to use other drugs, have poorer academic performance, engage in risky sexual behaviors, and be injured or assaulted. Tell your child you don’t want them to risk their future, reputation, or safety, and you expect them to remain alcohol-free.

Create a game plan with your child so if they are offered alcohol, they know what to do. For example, help brainstorm excuses for saying no or develop a code word that your child can text you to let you know they are in a situation where they feel unsafe.

Stick with the majority of Northland parents that don’t provide alcohol or allow their child to drink, even on special occasions like graduation! Research shows that when parents allow, provide, or supervise teen drinking, it sends a false message that alcohol is safe for their underdeveloped brain.

Best regards,
Parent Up KC

The Parent Up campaign empowers and equips KC Northland parents to care, connect, communicate, and pay careful attention to their child in order to prevent teen substance use. Follow us on Facebook @ParentUp.

Keeping Our Kids Merry & Bright

May 8, 2024December 15, 2022 by KCadmin

It’s the holiday season and here at Parent Up, we are intentionally celebrating the joy, creativity and resilience of area youth. We also celebrate YOU, the parents, guardians and other caring adults who are following along, learning, listening and taking action, even though it isn’t always easy.

With the threats of deadly fentanyl, new discreet nicotine products, and the now more available than ever potent-THC packed cannabis posing risks to young brains, Parent Up is starting out the new year with some encouragement and tried-and-true tips for Keeping Our Kids Merry & Bright All Year Round:

Let’s make sure kids know we care about their health and well-being. Youth substance use harms the developing brain and puts youth at higher risk for problems with mental health and addiction throughout life. Set no-use expectations when it comes to vaping, alcohol, marijuana, and other substances.
Be curious and keep the dialogue about substance use open. Ask youth what they think or have heard about alcohol, vaping, and other drug use. We can let them know they can come to us adults for help with peer pressure, stress, or anxiety.
Help youth gain confidence to say “no” to alcohol and other drugs by practicing scenarios and brainstorming what they might say if they’re offered to them.

Watch for early signs or symptoms of substance use which could include: changes in appearance, changes in friend groups, grades dropping, and/or secretive behavior. We know our kids best, so if something seems off, we should take action.

Kids are resilient and they are better off with your support. We wish you well this holiday season and into the new year.

The Parent Up Team

Underage Drinking: It’s on Us to Protect Kids

May 8, 2024June 14, 2022 by KCadmin

by Parent Up Staff

As adults we have the opportunity, and the obligation, to do everything we can to make sure our young people have healthy and bright futures. Adults working together can support policies, attitudes, and actions that prevent underage drinking and help youth thrive. Read on to see how you can help:

Why should we care about preventing underage drinking?

The teen years are a sensitive time for brain development and underage drinking only adds fuel to the fire. The years between childhood and adulthood aren’t the easiest and youth need help from adults along the way. Underage drinking and teen drug use can negatively affect young people’s school performance, future job prospects, and physical and mental health, damaging their lives well into adulthood. 90% of adults with substance use disorders started using alcohol or other drugs in their teen years, so it’s important to take early and ongoing action.

What impacts a teen’s likelihood to drink alcohol?

While kids are the ones who take the drink, there are a lot of factors outside the teen that lead to this decision. When alcohol is more available, youth are more likely to drink. Also, when teens think it is “ok” or “cool,” or the adults around them allow minors to drink, they are more likely to drink alcohol. Finally, when teens think they are safe from any harm, like legal trouble, we see rates of teen drinking increase. Each of these factors can be addressed at a community level and Parent Up asks for all adults to help protect our youth.

What steps can adults take to help reduce underage drinking in our community?

Adults can help reduce the number of teens drinking by:

Refusing to provide alcohol to minors—even during special occasions. When adults refuse, fewer kids use.
Letting the youth in your life know you care about their mental well-being. If they’re feeling stressed, anxious, depressed, or bored, adults can help find healthy solutions for relief rather than them turning to alcohol or other drugs.
Setting clear, no alcohol use expectations with the kids in your life. When adults set boundaries and stand firm, kids feel safe and know what to do when peer pressure mounts.
Making a game plan with the teens in your life before they go out or spend time with friends, so they know what is expected and how to refuse if alcohol is offered.

At Parent Up, our hope is to help equip parents and other caring adults with tools and resources to help prevent substance use of any kind by youth. Thank you for caring and thanks for taking action to help! For more tips, tools, and resources on youth alcohol use or preventing any drug use with our teens, feel free to explore around ParentUpKC.com!