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5 Urgent Reasons to Keep Youth Marijuana-Free

April 17, 2024April 16, 2024 by KCadmin

Whether you know it as marijuana, THC, cannabis, weed, or pot, one fact is clear: No amount of marijuana use is safe for youth. Because young people’s brains are still developing into their mid-20s, they are much more vulnerable to the harmful effects of marijuana use, including its negative effects on mental health. In fact, teens can become addicted much more easily and quickly than adults: 90% of Americans struggling with addiction today started using alcohol and other drugs in their teen years, highlighting just how important early prevention efforts are to reducing our kids’ risk of addiction.

With more marijuana being sold and used in our communities, it’s more important than ever to protect them from early experimentation. Here’s five of the most important reasons to keep youth marijuana-free:

1. Marijuana Today is Stronger Than Ever Before

The marijuana available today at gas stations, smoke shops, and dispensaries is not the same marijuana of the past. The THC concentration (the substance responsible for the “high”) in commonly cultivated marijuana plants has increased dramatically over the years. While the average THC concentration in the 1960s was 1% to 4%, dispensaries are selling products with average THC concentrations between 17.7% and 23.2%. In fact, the potency of marijuana has increased almost four-fold just since 1995, from under 4% to over 15% in 2021, and continues to increase. Many “flower” products are in even stronger potencies than this: A quick search of a local dispensary showed marijuana flower products as high as 31.54% THC.

This doesn’t even account for high-THC concentrates like dabs, waxes, shatter, budder, and oils used in vaping cartridges, infused joints, and edibles, which are far more widely available to the public today. These extracts can deliver extremely large amounts of THC to the body when vaped or smoked, and depending on the process used, can contain anywhere from 39% THC to over 80% THC. The risk of addiction to marijuana increases with exposure to high concentrations of THC, and higher doses of THC are more likely to produce anxiety, agitation, paranoia, and psychosis. These highly concentrated THC products pose even greater risks to young, developing brains.

Keep in mind that these marijuana products are not approved by the FDA, meaning there’s no regulation regarding safety, efficacy, or even proper dosage. Keeping youth marijuana-free is a protective measure against the potential harms of increasingly potent strains.

2. Marijuana, Like Other Drugs, Can Be Addictive

Marijuana is often misperceived as a harmless substance, but it is not without its risks, especially to youth. Despite what you may have heard, marijuana can be addictive, especially for developing teen brains. Approximately 1 in 10 people who use marijuana will become addicted, but if they start before age 18, the risk of addiction rises to 1 in 6. Young people under age 25 are more prone to addiction than adults because it’s a form of learning. Just as it’s easier for a younger brain to pick up a new language or musical instrument than an older brain, it’s easier for teens to become addicted, because to the brain it’s all just “learning.” Additionally, early marijuana use can increase the likelihood of developing dependence on other substances later in life. Keeping youth marijuana-free helps mitigate their risk of addiction.

3. Marijuana Use Harms Teen Mental Health

Conversations around youth mental health have grown more common in our homes, schools, and communities in recent years. As we navigate these conversations with youth, it’s important to recognize the role that substance use can play. Having mental health issues can lead teens to try to cope by using marijuana, despite the fact that marijuana use can negatively impact mental health. Exposure to the ever-increasing THC in marijuana may negatively impact our youth’s developing brain, disrupting their emotional development and ability to cope with stress and other negative emotions now and into their future. In fact, depression, anxiety, and psychosis are more common in teen marijuana users than their

non-using peers. Teens who use marijuana are also at a higher risk of suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts than their non-using peers. Encouraging a marijuana-free lifestyle is crucial for preserving the mental well-being of our youth.

4. Marijuana Use Negatively Impacts School Performance

The teen years are a time of incredible learning, growth, and exploration, and our teens have amazing brains that are just right for this stage of life. But because teen brains are undergoing significant changes, marijuana use can hijack this development and have short and long-term effects on our youth’s brains. The effects of marijuana use include difficulty thinking and problem solving, problems with memory and learning, impaired coordination, and difficulty maintaining attention – all important to succeeding in school. Students who smoke marijuana tend to get lower grades and are more likely to drop out of high school compared to their peers who don’t use.

Marijuana’s negative effects on attention, memory, and learning can last for days and sometimes weeks – long after the high wears off.

But because the brain is still developing, the damage from youth marijuana use can potentially be permanent. Some studies have even linked marijuana use to declines in IQ, especially when use starts in adolescence and persists into adulthood. Preventing youth marijuana use is critical to helping our kids succeed, learn, and grow into healthy adults.

5. Marijuana Use Makes Driving Dangerous

Many firsts occur for our kids during their teen years, including learning to drive and getting their license. However when driving is mixed with marijuana use, this exciting new experience can quickly turn into a dangerous one for everyone on the road. Marijuana use diminishes judgment and the many other skills needed for safe driving, like alertness, concentration, coordination, and reaction time. Gauging distance and reacting to sounds and signals also becomes more difficult with marijuana use. Couple that with inexperienced teen drivers, who might think driving high is “safe,” and the outcomes could be potentially tragic. According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse, marijuana is the most commonly identified illegal drug in deadly crashes, sometimes in combination with alcohol or other drugs.

By itself, marijuana is thought to roughly double a driver’s chances of being in a crash, and the combination of marijuana and even small amounts of alcohol further increases those risks. But the danger isn’t just limited to impaired drivers – Teens who use marijuana are more likely to be a passenger of an impaired driver. To keep our kids safe on the road, set the expectation that teens remain marijuana-free and that they never ride with a driver that they suspect is impaired.

How We Can Keep Youth Marijuana-Free

The good news is that marijuana rates among youth in the Northland are currently low and we can help keep it that way by:

Setting clear expectations that kids will stay marijuana-free. Let them know that any substance use, including marijuana use, is harmful to their growing brains and you care about their mental health and well-being.
Being curious and keeping the dialogue open about marijuana. Ask kids what they think or have heard about marijuana. Let them know they can come to you or other trusted adults for help with peer pressure, stress, or anxiety. Assure your child that their well-being is a priority and that they have options for relief other than turning to substance use.
Preparing kids for peer pressure. Help youth gain confidence to say “no” to marijuana by practicing scenarios and brainstorming what they might say if offered marijuana. Work with your teen to come up with a code word to text you or another trusted adult if they feel like they need help to get out of an unsafe situation. Support your teen in finding safe and drug-free ways to spend their time doing positive activities with peers.
Watch for early signs or symptoms of marijuana use and changes in behaviors, friend groups, or attitudes. Some warning signs include: Glassy, red eyes, slurred speech, dry mouth, a “skunky” smell, anxiety, a drop in grades, quitting activities, and difficulty thinking and problem solving. Get your child help early if you suspect any substance use.

Safeguarding the well-being of our youth must remain a top priority as we navigate the increasing availability and potency of marijuana in our communities. Its addictive nature, impact on mental health, and harmful effects on the growing brain all underscore the importance of keeping kids marijuana-free. As adults, we have the power to protect our kids and help prevent addiction, and Parent Up is here to help! Check out all of our free marijuana-specific resources here!

Parent Up KC Staff

Making the Most of Dinners with Your Teen

February 1, 2024 by KCadmin

Dr. Anne Fishel is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at the Harvard Medical School and the Director of the Family and Couples Therapy Program at Massachusetts General Hospital. She is the executive director and co-founder of The Family Dinner Project, a non-profit initiative based at Massachusetts General Hospital, that helps families online and in communities to have better and more frequent family dinners. She has lectured to parents, teachers, and health professionals about the benefits of family meals and written numerous articles about family issues for NPR, The Washington Post, Psychology Today, The Los Angeles Times, PBS, and others.

Her book about family dinners, Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun and Conversation for Happier Families and Healthier Kids, is available through Amazon. She is a co-author with The Family Dinner Project team of Eat, Laugh, Talk: The Family Dinner Playbook. This insight was originally written by Dr. Fishel for Parent Up in February 2022 and has been reposted.

“Of any age group, teens may have the most to gain from eating dinner with their families. Numerous studies over the last 25 years reveal that dinners can protect teens from engaging in a host of risky behaviors: smoking, drinking, getting pregnant, developing an eating disorder, and using drugs. Teens who dine with their families also report experiencing less overall stress, feeling more known by their parents, and having better relationships with them (CASA, 2012).”

“Why do family dinners offer such benefits? The simplest answer is that dinner is a reliable occasion for teens to feel connected to their parents. It is this connection that provides the real seatbelt on the potholed road of adolescence.

Dinnertime also creates the opportunity for parents to check in and monitor their teens’ behavior without putting their kids on the hot seat. Instead, questions about their day are softened by answering while enjoying a delicious meal, and by hearing about everyone else’s funny tales of the day.”

“The really good news is that when teenagers are asked to list the activities they most enjoy, family dinner is consistently ranked high on that list.”

“That said, teens can be sulky, irritable, prickly and challenging, and may not make the easiest dinner companions. Not only that, but their schedules may seem too busy to fit in regular dinners, what with sports practices, after school jobs, hours of homework, and heavy social media upkeep.

So, how can parents make dinner compelling for adolescents, and enjoyable for everyone else in the family? Showing up at the dinner table with certain parental attitudes may help: Showing interest in your kids’ new discoveries (e.g. music, friends, favorite athletes, video games, etc.) without judging them; tolerating strong expressions of feelings; and talking in a more honest and self-disclosing way about your own lives, if these disclosures are relevant to your kids’ struggles.

Adolescence is also a time when kids are figuring out who they are and how they want to be similar to and different from their parents, and they have the brainpower now to engage in philosophical and abstract thought. It is no wonder, then, that this is a time when kids may declare that they have food preferences that differ from their parents. Consider the New Yorker cartoon of two teenage girls talking. One says to the other: “I started to be a vegetarian for health reasons, now it’s just to annoy!” But this kind of questioning of pdxccarental values can also lead to rich conversations about things that matter.”

How to Keep Dinner as Lively as Your Teenagers

Agree that dinner will be off limits for discussing conflicts—no talk about homework, or whose turn it is to take out the trash, or a recent “D” on a math quiz, or how late the curfew should be on Friday night.
If possible, parents as well as teens should make dinner a technology-free zone. If this isn’t possible, then negotiate rules that everyone can agree to, such as: ‘We’ll only use our phones to resolve factual disagreements that come up at dinner’ or will only use it to play a game like Selfie Hot Potato.
If scheduling conflicts with dinner time, consider having a healthy after-dinner, take-a-break-from-homework snack. This might be frozen yogurt with berries, a bowl of soup, or cheese and crackers.
Initiate conversations about subjects that matter to you and to your children. Did you read an article in the newspaper today that confused, upset, or delighted you? Talk about it and ask for your kids’ reactions. Check out our Conversation of the Week blog for more ideas.
Offer to make a new meal, based on your teen’s interests—if they are studying Chinese history or Indian literature, check out www.epicurious.com and search for recipes by country. Even better, make that new meal with your child so that they can teach you something about another culture they know more about than you do.
Invite your kid to make a course or part of the meal, particularly something fairly quick (but special and dramatic) that will elicit “oohs” and “ah”s from the rest of the family. Popovers, fruit smoothies, or a vegetable or fruit no one has ever tried before (anyone for dragon fruit?) all do the trick.

Speak about your own experiences of the day in a way that is honest and self-disclosing, perhaps revealing something that was embarrassing or challenging. Or, repeat a joke that you heard at work.
Ask your teen to choose music for you to listen to during dinner. On other nights, you might play your own music, or play the music that you listened to when you were your child’s age. Both will give you something to talk about that may be of great interest to your teen.
Since adolescence is a time of increased exploration, buy cookbooks when you travel to new places, ask for recipes at restaurants, or from the parents of your child’s friends. Some of my favorite recipes are ones I’ve requested from a Chinese mother raised in Hawaii whose cooking my son raved about whenever he visited.

“Some of these suggestions may fall flat like a pancake. Others may get you only a few more minutes of conversation at the table. Still others may not work the first few times you try them. When it comes to parenting teens, persistence pays off, so don’t let a little pushback or negativity keep you from trying again.”

Watch the recording of Dr. Fishel’s Why Family Meals Matter webinar!

To watch for free, just register here: tinyurl.com/FamilyMealsMatter

The Northland Coalition Prevention Network and Parent Up hosted The Family Dinner Project for an engaging webinar for parents and caregivers on the benefits of family meals! Anyone can view a recording of the webinar by registering at tinyurl.com/FamilyMealsMatter. Learn about the academic, mental health and nutritional benefits of family meals. Dr. Fishel discusses mealtime challenges and great strategies to overcome obstacles. She motivates and empowers caring adults with games to play at the table that will spark conversation as well as tips to get kids to give you more than just a one-word answer.

Read Parent Up’s “Giving Devices a Seat…Away From the Table” Insight!

There’s incredible value in getting your family to sit down and have meaningful meals, but there’s a lot of things that get in the way. Check out our newest Parent Up Insight for tips on giving your devices a new seat away from the table!

Check out Parent Up’s free resources to help your family have more meaningful meals!

We make it easy to have more meaningful meals more often with your family on our Meaningful Meals page. Check it out!

Keeping Our Kids Merry and Bright Now and All Year Long

December 10, 2023 by KCadmin

It’s the holiday season and here at Parent Up, we are intentionally celebrating the joy, creativity, and resilience of area youth. We also celebrate YOU, the parents, guardians, and other caring adults who are following along, learning, listening, and taking action, even when it isn’t always easy.

With the threats of deadly fentanyl, new discreet nicotine products, and the now-more-available-than-ever potent-THC packed cannabis posing risks to young brains, Parent Up is rounding out the year with some encouragement and tried-and-true tips for keeping our kids merry and bright now and all year long:

Set no-use expectations when it comes to vaping, alcohol, marijuana, and other substances.
Teen substance use harms the developing brain and puts youth at higher risk for mental health problems and addiction throughout life. Let’s ensure kids know we care about their health and well-being, and that’s why we want them to stay drug-free. You can do this without threatening by saying something like, “I really care about your health and safety, and I don’t want you risking that by vaping or using marijuana. Your brain is not done growing so it’s even more important at this time in your life that you don’t use any drugs like alcohol, nicotine, unprescribed pills, or marijuana.” Or something like this, “Friends around you might tell you that drugs or alcohol help with that, but I really care about you and want you to not use alcohol, vapes, or any marijuana to protect you now and in the future.”
Be curious and keep the dialogue about substances open.
Ask kids what they think or have heard about alcohol, vaping, marijuana, and other drugs. Be curious and open-minded about their experiences. It’s more important – and effective– to listen and discuss rather than to lecture. Ask them questions about what they think about marijuana. Ask them what they know or what they’ve heard about vaping at school or from friends. Finding out what our teens know and think about substances first helps us know where to start our conversations. Use “teachable moments” to start conversations too. Use public service announcements, stories on the news, TV plot lines, pop culture or current issues at school or in the community to spur on your conversations.
There’s an important second part to this advice: Let kids know they can come to you or other trusted adults for help with peer pressure, stress, or anxiety. Kids need to hear that their well-being is a priority and that they have options for relief other than taking matters into their own hands.
Prepare kids for peer pressure.
Help youth gain confidence to say “no” to alcohol, marijuana, and other drugs by practicing scenarios and brainstorming what they might say if they’re offered to them. “What do you do if you are in a social setting and you’re uncomfortable with what is happening?” Or ask, “What if someone is offering you something — what are you going to say?” Practice this with teens, even if they groan at you and don’t want to do it. Even if you don’t get them to say the words, if you can say the words and at least put them in their brain, they will be more likely to use that strategy when the moment comes. We also recommend teens memorize the phone numbers of two trusted adults so they always have someone to call to get out of an uncomfortable situation, even if their phone is dead.

Watch for early signs or symptoms of substance use.
As parents and caregivers, we know our kids best so if something seems off, we should take action. General early signs of substance use could include: Changes in appearance, changes in friend groups, grades dropping, and/or secretive behavior. Find more specific early warnings signs for underage drinking, marijuana use, teen vaping, and prescription drug misuse on our Drug Topics page. If you need help for your child and are worried your child may be using alcohol or other drugs, the Partnership to End Addiction can help.

Our kids are more resilient and better off with your support. We wish you well this holiday season and into the new year.

– The Parent Up Team

How to Protect Our Kids from Deadly Fake Pills

January 31, 2024November 8, 2023 by KCadmin

In today’s rapidly changing world, it’s more crucial than ever to stay informed about the dangers that can impact our kids and teens. Two of those dangers are fentanyl and xylazine: Substances that are being put into pills that appear to be prescription or legitimate medicines, but are actually illegal counterfeit pills that can be deadly.

Deaths caused by these poisonings are rising, which has led to the increase of unexpected loss of teens and young people in our Kansas City communities.

Fentanyl and xylazine are in our state, our city, and our communities. As adults, we need to take action today to protect our kids from these fake pills laced with lethal substances.

What is Fentanyl?

Fentanyl is a synthetic (man-made) opioid that is up to 50 times stronger than heroin and 100 times stronger than morphine. Only 2 milligrams of fentanyl, just a few grains of sand, can be fatal to an adult. This deadly drug cannot be detected by sight, smell, or taste. It can be impossible to tell if a pill is real or fake just by looking at it. Recent DEA lab tests revealed that 7 out of every 10 pills with fentanyl contain a potentially lethal dose. This deadly drug is used by illegal drug makers to create fake pills that look like real medication. Prescription pills purchased online are often fakes made with fentanyl. Because of this, our kids may encounter fentanyl anywhere – online, at school, or on the street.

What is Xylazine?

Xylazine is a non-opioid tranquilizer used in veterinary medicine, and is not approved for use in humans. It is often mixed with other drugs, most commonly fentanyl, to either enhance drug effects or increase street value by increasing weight. Like fentanyl, this drug is put into fake pills that look like legitimate pills by illegal drug makers. Prescription pills purchased online are often fakes made with fentanyl, and increasingly, xylazine as well. In fact, Missouri experienced a 180% increase in xylazine-related deaths from 39 deaths in 2021 to 109 in 2022.

The most worrying aspect of xylazine is that because it is not an opioid, life-saving Naloxone does not work on xylazine. However, it’s important to note that because xylazine is often used with opioids like fentanyl, naloxone should still be given for any suspected drug overdose or poisoning.

Local law enforcement has pulled together a drug task force to address supply and track down those that sell these incredibly dangerous substances and fake pills. The DEA is working these cases too and urging the media to get the word out.

How might our teens encounter these fake pills?

While it might be difficult to imagine your teen would ever experiment with pills, it’s important to acknowledge the very real reasons why teens may encounter or seek out pills:

The teen brain is experiencing every emotion very intensely as it grows and develops rapidly. Some teens may turn to pills to cope with stress, anxiety or depression.
Teens might be feeling pressure to excel in school or sports, and some may believe that pills can help boost their academic or athletic performance.
The teen brain is hard-wired to take risks. Some teens might experiment with pills to fulfill risk-seeking urges.
Some teens may think: “It’s medicine, so it can’t hurt me, right?” This misunderstanding of the dangers of taking pills not prescribed to them might give the false impression that it’s safe to try, especially if they see their family or friends doing so.

If our kids are not warned, and given the support they need, they may think pills are the solution to their problems. The majority of teens and young adults who report misuse of prescription pills are buying or getting them from friends, family, and even acquaintances over Snapchat and other apps popular with teens. To teens, these are seemingly harmless transactions for a pill – maybe a “study drug” or “sleeping pill,” but they could lead – and have led to – unimaginably tragic consequences in our communities.

What Can We Do to Protect Our Kids?

Our goal at Parent Up is to support parents and caregivers in their efforts to keep kids from engaging in substance use. By taking steps to reduce pill misuse, we can reduce the likelihood that our teens would take a potentially fatal pill laced with fentanyl or xylazine in the future. We encourage parents and caregivers to use our 4Cs to prevent pill misuse in youth:

CARE: Educate yourself about the harmful effects of pill misuse, especially for kids and teens. Check out our Prescription Drugs page to start! We break down the most commonly misused prescription drugs by teens, the risks, and the warning signs to look for. We also have free helpful tools and resources for you to download, print, and share.
CONNECT: Connection is key to prevention! Kids who have stable, healthy relationships with adults are more likely to make safer decisions and live healthier lives. Learn more about simple ways to connect with your kids every day by watching this 14-minute TED Talk. Learn more about the amazing value of having regular family meals together by visiting our Meaningful Meals page.
COMMUNICATE: Talk to your child early and often about medication safety and have specific conversations about the dangers of misusing pills. Emphasize to teens and kids that they should never share their prescription pills with anyone and to never take anyone else’s pills. Take a strong stance against using any substance, including pills, to deal with your problems.
- Let your child know you will help them if they are seeking relief from anxiety or depression. Discuss the steps to legally and safely obtain appropriate medications from a doctor, if needed. Assure your child that their mental well-being is a priority and that they have options for relief other than taking matters into their own hands.
- Practice what to say if they are offered something. These roleplays let your child know you support them and help give them confidence if a situation arises where they need to say “no.” You can also work with your teen to come up with a code word to text you if they feel like they need your help to get out of an unsafe situation.
CAREFUL ATTENTION: You know your child and what is or isn’t typical for them. Be on alert for changes in behaviors, friend groups, or attitudes. Take action if you see early warning signs of pill misuse. You can find these warning signs on our Prescription Drugs page.
- Keep track of which prescription medicines you have in your house and how many. Store prescriptions in a secure place only you know about. Don’t keep powerful prescription medicine in your bathroom medicine cabinet where just anyone can find it.
- When you have unused, unwanted, or expired prescriptions, don’t keep them around your home. Keeping these types of medication out of the house entirely will drastically limit the serious risks to kids and teens! Dispose of these medicines at your nearest local dropbox location or make a plan for safe home disposal.

Here are some other helpful resources too:

Learn how to Parent Up to help prevent any substance use in your kids.
Read here for more information on what we can do to help protect the teens in our life, an Insight from Parent Up.
For younger kids, read here for 5 ways teaching medicine safety early can save lives, an Insight from Parent Up.
Read the warnings, tips and see pictures of fentanyl straight from the DEA.
Song for Charlie, a family-run nonprofit, has Real Talk videos to help start the conversation with your child.
Buying Drugs Online – What You Should Know & How to Protect Your Kids from Get Smart About Drugs, a DEA resource for parents, educators, and caregivers.

Thank you for taking action today. Share this Insight and help protect area kids.

– Parent Up KC Staff

What are “Safe Risks” and How Can I Support Teens in Taking Safe Risks?

November 7, 2023October 13, 2023 by KCadmin

If you’ve ever said, “What were you thinking?!” to a teen, you’re not alone! Luckily, a basic understanding of teen brain development can help us as adults understand why teens behave the way they do, even if we’re not neuroscientists. And this understanding is crucial to guiding teens towards safe, healthy exploration and away from harmful risks like vaping. It might sound crazy, but it’s true: Our teens need to take risks as a part of their normal growth and development!

Why Our Teens Take Risks

As our teens grow up, the impulsive, risk-taking, and emotional center of the brain (the limbic system) and the logical, planning, and reasoning part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) are in a race to the developmental finish line. The emotional system crosses first, leaving the reasoning and thinking portion of the brain to catch up. This makes the teen brain like a car with the gas pedal to the floor and no brakes: The limbic system is well-developed, acting as a powerful accelerator encouraging teens to take risks, act on impulses, and seek new experiences. But the prefrontal cortex is still in development, making teens less likely to stop and think things through, modify their behavior, or fully consider the consequences of their actions. The good news is that the prefrontal cortex does catch up later in life, closer to the age of 25 when our brains finish developing into adult brains.

Dr. Adriana Galván, an expert on adolescent brain development who runs the Developmental Neuroscience Lab at UCLA, found in her research that teens learn faster – and with better accuracy – than adults because of teens’ very active striatum – the reward center of the brain. This reward center is most active in the teen years and it’s very sensitive to rewards, enabling teens to learn new things much more quickly than adults, like learning a new language or how to play an instrument. And this makes sense for this time in life, right? The teen years are full of amazing learning and growth, about ourselves and the world around us! But Dr. Galván’s lab also found that teens with a more active reward center are more likely to take risks and to like it. This can spell trouble for teens if their risk-seeking brain is introduced to vaping (or other drug use). Dr. Galván poses this question in a great short video about the teen brain:

“Rather than ask how you keep your teenager from taking risks – because we know the brain is really oriented toward risk at this time – it’s better to ask, how do I provide opportunities for healthy risks?”

How We Can Help Our Teens Take Safe Risks

Now, with our teens’ remarkable brains driving their learning and exploration, we get to step in and guide them towards things that scratch their risk-taking itch, but prevent negative consequences to their health and safety. Safe risk-taking doesn’t put your child in danger, but it does require them to risk something — like failure or criticism. And there are great benefits to taking safe risks! Safe risk-taking can boost our teens’ confidence, leadership skills, planning skills, and can help them learn to resist their impulses – all important skills to learn and practice for adulthood! Here’s how you can start supporting teens in identifying and taking safe risks:

Talk to teens about their interests, passions, and their favorite things to do. Ask questions about what makes them happiest, what’s the most exciting thing they’ve ever done or can imagine doing, or what would they do if they had a whole day to do whatever they wanted. You can really think outside the box here! Do they enjoy sports? Does art excite them? Are they interested in music? Do they enjoy helping people or animals? These conversations will help you connect with your teen and also point you both in the right direction for your next step.
Help teens brainstorm some opportunities or challenges around their interests. For example, if your tween loves basketball, encourage them to try out for the team. If your teen enjoys painting, encourage them to enter a local art competition or display at their school. If they’re interested in music, maybe they can try out for the band this year, or audition for first chair if they’re already in band. If they love animals, challenge them to volunteer at an animal shelter weekly. If they have an interest in movies or TV, encourage them to try out for the school play, even if they’ve never acted before. There are so many possibilities! See what your child gravitates toward, then help them make a plan to get started!
Set teens up for success by supporting their needs where you can. Help your tween or teen think through what they’ll need to do this activity and ask them how you can support them. What equipment, tools, or materials might they need? How will they get to and from their activity? Who might they need to contact in order to get started? Whether it’s a ride to practice, an opportunity to shadow someone, or helping them buy materials, try to support them as best you can. Remember: Showing up to cheer them on or being a shoulder to lean on is free!

It’s important to note that we’re guiding and supporting our kids here. If they start to get off track, resist the urge to jump in and take over. If we give them too much help, it can negate the learning experience and their sense of control. Let them navigate through the process and follow up on how they’re feeling. If they are hesitant to try something new, you can talk about your own safe risk-taking successes and failures. Whatever the activity, our teens’ interest and passion will help drive teens to stick with it, even when things get tough. That being said, teens can change their interests as they explore the world and learn more about themselves. It’s okay if one of these ventures doesn’t pan out like they thought it would, there are always others to try!

To learn more about how we can help keep our kids safe from vaping (and all drug use) and prevent addiction, check out the rest of our website here at ParentUpKC.com!

Keeping Our Kids Merry & Bright

January 4, 2023December 15, 2022 by KCadmin

It’s the holiday season and here at Parent Up, we are intentionally celebrating the joy, creativity and resilience of area youth. We also celebrate YOU, the parents, guardians and other caring adults who are following along, learning, listening and taking action, even though it isn’t always easy.

With the threats of deadly fentanyl, new discreet nicotine products, and the now more available than ever potent-THC packed cannabis posing risks to young brains, Parent Up is starting out the new year with some encouragement and tried-and-true tips for Keeping Our Kids Merry & Bright All Year Round:

Let’s make sure kids know we care about their health and well-being. Youth substance use harms the developing brain and puts youth at higher risk for problems with mental health and addiction throughout life. Set no-use expectations when it comes to vaping, alcohol, marijuana, and other substances.
Be curious and keep the dialogue about substance use open. Ask youth what they think or have heard about alcohol, vaping, and other drug use. We can let them know they can come to us adults for help with peer pressure, stress, or anxiety.
Help youth gain confidence to say “no” to alcohol and other drugs by practicing scenarios and brainstorming what they might say if they’re offered to them.

Watch for early signs or symptoms of substance use which could include: changes in appearance, changes in friend groups, grades dropping, and/or secretive behavior. We know our kids best, so if something seems off, we should take action.

Kids are resilient and they are better off with your support. We wish you well this holiday season and into the new year.

The Parent Up Team

Making the Most of Dinners with Your Teen

March 31, 2022February 16, 2022 by KCadmin

Dr. Anne Fishel is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at the Harvard Medical School and the Director of the Family and Couples Therapy Program at Massachusetts General Hospital. She is the executive director and co-founder of The Family Dinner Project, a non-profit initiative based at Massachusetts General Hospital, that helps families online and in communities to have better and more frequent family dinners. She has lectured to parents, teachers, and health professionals about the benefits of family meals and written numerous articles about family issues for NPR, The Washington Post, Psychology Today, The Los Angeles Times, PBS, and others.

Her book about family dinners, Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun and Conversation for Happier Families and Healthier Kids, is available through Amazon. She is a co-author with The Family Dinner Project team of Eat, Laugh, Talk: The Family Dinner Playbook.

Of any age group, teens may have the most to gain from eating dinner with their families. Numerous studies over the last 25 years reveal that dinners can protect teens from engaging in a host of risky behaviors: smoking, drinking, getting pregnant, developing an eating disorder, and using drugs. Teens who dine with their families also report experiencing less overall stress, feeling more known by their parents, and having better relationships with them (CASA, 2012).

Why do family dinners offer such benefits? The simplest answer is that dinner is a reliable occasion for teens to feel connected to their parents. It is this connection that provides the real seat belt on the potholed road of adolescence.

The really good news is that when teenagers are asked to list the activities they most enjoy, family dinner is consistently ranked high on that list.

That said, teens can be sulky, irritable, prickly and challenging, and may not make the easiest dinner companions. Not only that, but their schedules may seem too busy to fit in regular dinners, what with sports practices, after school jobs, hours of homework, and heavy social media upkeep.

So, how can parents make dinner compelling for adolescents, and enjoyable for everyone else in the family? Showing up at the dinner table with certain parental attitudes may help: showing interest in your kids’ new discoveries (e.g. music, friends, favorite athletes, video games, etc.) without judging them; tolerating strong expressions of feelings; and talking in a more honest and self-disclosing way about your own lives, if these disclosures are relevant to your kids’ struggles.

Adolescence is also a time when kids are figuring out who they are and how they want to be similar to and different from their parents, and they have the brainpower now to engage in philosophical and abstract thought. It is no wonder, then, that this is a time when kids may declare that they have food preferences that differ from their parents. Consider the New Yorker cartoon of two teenage girls talking. One says to the other: “I started to be a vegetarian for health reasons, now it’s just to annoy!” But this kind of questioning of parental values can also lead to rich conversations about things that matter.

How to Keep Dinner as Lively as Your Teenagers

Agree that dinner will be off limits for discussing conflicts—no talk about homework, or whose turn it is to take out the trash, or a recent “D” on a math quiz, or how late the curfew should be on Friday night.
If possible, parents as well as teens should make dinner a technology-free zone. If this isn’t possible, then negotiate rules that everyone can agree to, such as: ‘We’ll only use our phones to resolve factual disagreements that come up at dinner’ or will only use it to play a game like Selfie Hot Potato.
If scheduling conflicts interfere with nightly dinners, consider having a healthy after-dinner, take-a-break-from-homework snack. This might be frozen yogurt with berries, a bowl of soup, or cheese and crackers.
Initiate conversations about subjects that matter to you and to your children. Did you read an article in the newspaper today that confused, upset, or delighted you? Talk about it and ask for your kids’ reactions. Check out our Conversation of the Week blog for more ideas.
Offer to make a new meal, based on your teen’s interests—if they are studying Chinese history or Indian literature, check out www.epicurious.com and search for recipes by country. Even better, make that new meal with your child so that they can teach you something about another culture they know more about than you do.
Invite your kid to make a course or part of the meal, particularly something fairly quick (but special and dramatic) that will elicit “oohs” and “ah”s from the rest of the family. Popovers, fruit smoothies, or a vegetable or fruit no one has ever tried before (anyone for dragon fruit?) all do the trick.

Speak about your own experiences of the day in a way that is honest and self-disclosing, perhaps revealing something that was embarrassing or challenging. Or, repeat a joke that you heard at work.
Ask your teen to choose music for you to listen to during dinner. On other nights, you might play your own music, or play the music that you listened to when you were your child’s age. Both will give you something to talk about that may be of great interest to your teen.
Since adolescence is a time of increased exploration, buy cookbooks when you travel to new places, ask for recipes at restaurants, or from the parents of your child’s friends. Some of my favorite recipes are ones I’ve requested from a Chinese mother raised in Hawaii whose cooking my son raved about whenever he visited.

Some of these suggestions may fall flat like a pancake. Others may get you only a few more minutes of conversation at the table. Still others may not work the first few times you try them. When it comes to parenting teens, persistence pays off, so don’t let a little pushback or negativity keep you from trying again.

Watch the recording of Dr. Fishel’s Why Family Meals Matter webinar!

To watch for free, just register here: tinyurl.com/FamilyMealsMatter

The Northland Coalition Prevention Network and Parent Up recently hosted The Family Dinner Project for an engaging webinar for parents and caregivers on the benefits of family meals! Anyone can view a recording of the webinar by registering at tinyurl.com/FamilyMealsMatter. Learn about the academic, mental health and nutritional benefits of family meals. Dr. Fishel discusses mealtime challenges and great strategies to overcome obstacles. She motivates and empowers caring adults with games to play at the table that will spark conversation as well as tips to get kids to give you more than just a one-word answer.

Marijuana: Risky Business for Young Brains

June 14, 2021 by KCadmin

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that 38% of high school youth have used marijuana at some point in their lives. In this same report, concerning findings suggest more middle school youth and kids who historically aren’t at high risk for drug use, are now using marijuana. Our local rates in the Kansas City Northland are lower than the national average, but still concerning. In the Northland, 30% of middle and high school kids perceive marijuana as harmless with 5.5% of them using it regularly (2020 Missouri Student Survey).

Using marijuana is risky business for a developing teenage brain. According to the CDC, use in teens can result in difficulty in thinking and problem solving, problems with memory and learning, impaired coordination, and difficulty maintaining attention. Teen marijuana use is also associated with lower grade point average, reduced overall school performance, impaired driving, impaired attention span, lower life satisfaction, and increased risk for mental health issues and other substance use.

Although marijuana use can actually increase mental health problems, many teens use it to dampen anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.

Here at Parent Up, we believe that parents and caring adults can help prevent youth marijuana use and protect youth from turning to marijuana use to cope. This month, Parent Up got some insight from Dr. Debra Olson-Morrison, a local clinician who has decades of experience working with families.

Informed teens make more informed choices. Engage pre-adolescents and young teens in healthy conversations about the effects of using drugs such as marijuana. Refrain from using scare tactics and lecturing, and remain open and receptive to what your teen wants to share with you. Start with phrases such as “So, seems like some kids are using marijuana these days. What do you think about that? What do you know about the effects of using marijuana? How do you feel about all this?” Asking open-ended, curiosity-based questions reflects a non-judgmental willingness to engage in truthful dialogue about drug use.

Choose relationships over ribbons. Many parents focus on their teens’ grades, performance in extracurricular activities, undesirable behaviors, or other activities, and forget to just spend quality one-on-one time with their teen. As parents and caring adults openly talk about marijuana use, they should simultaneously show confidence in their teen’s ability to make healthy decisions, and spend time connecting with them.

Trust, Love, and Acceptance: Communicate your admiration for the person your teen is, and excitement for the person they are becoming. Being a teenager is hard – being present to and validating teens’ thoughts, feelings, concerns, and dreams provides a foundation for a healthy relationship based in love and trust.

Thanks for your thoughts, Debbie, and thanks for the work you do with Northland kids to help them thrive!

Remember, Parent Up is here to help you navigate conversations about drug use and establishing healthy boundaries with your kids. Visit our homepage to learn “how to Parent Up” or navigate to our Drug Topics page for more information about preventing youth substance use, including marijuana use.

Debra Olson-Morrison, PhD, LCSW, RPT-S has been in clinical practice with children and families since 2001 and currently serves as the Trauma-Informed Training Manager and Child Advocacy Center Therapist at Synergy Services.

Fentanyl in the Northland: What We Can Do

April 4, 2023April 7, 2021 by KCadmin

Kim Downs is a lifelong Kansas City North resident and has been a licensed school social worker in the area for nearly 20 years. She is passionate about removing barriers to learning and is an agent of support to students and families. She enjoys a good hike in the mountains, wandering a museum, traveling, and spending time with her family.

Kansas City police officers have been raising the alarm, and it’s a message that parents need to hear loud and clear: Fentanyl-laced pills are causing teen deaths in the Northland and around the Metro. Before you think, “not my child,” pause for a moment. Many of these deadly counterfeit pills are being sold over Snapchat and other apps popular with teens. To teens, these are seemingly harmless transactions for a “pain pill.” But they could lead – and have led – to unimaginably tragic consequences.

Take this growing issue seriously, and have specific conversations about it in your house. As a school social worker, I am hearing about this over and over. It is happening here and it is real.

Not sure what to say? Emphasize to your kids to never, ever take a pill from anyone or anywhere that isn’t prescribed to them by a doctor or out of its original container. Two-thirds of teens and young adults who report misuse of prescription medicine are buying or getting it from friends, family, and acquaintances. Too many teens have the false perception that “medicine is safe, medicine can’t hurt me.” As caring adults, parents, and guardians, it falls to us to let our teens know the very real dangers of misusing prescription pills. Let your kids know where you stand.

Let them know you will help them if they are seeking relief from anxiety or depression. Discuss the steps to legally and safely obtain appropriate medications from a doctor, if needed. Be firm that self-prescribing can be deadly, and that your child should never take any pills not prescribed to them by a doctor. Assure your child that their mental wellbeing is a priority and then make a plan to get help together. They need to hear from caring adults that they have options for relief other than taking matters into their own hands.

Practice what to say if they are offered something. These roleplays let your child know you support them and help give them confidence if a situation arises where they need to say “no.” You can also work with your teen to come up with a code word to text you if they feel like they need your help to get out of an unsafe situation.

They might groan at you. Have these conversations anyway.

High-Performing Kids and Mental Wellness: The Tightrope Walk

October 26, 2020October 23, 2020 by KCadmin

We humans are good at finding patterns. This evolutionary benefit has kept us alive longer than the dinosaurs, but it’s not foolproof. Sometimes, these patterns can steer us wrong. As parents, what we perceive to be good and healthy for our kids, might not be the reality. The team captain with straight-As could have an eating disorder. The class president with multiple scholarship offers might be questioning their sexuality. When it comes to identifying how well our kids are managing stress and dealing with substance use, sometimes we miss what is right in front of us.

Teens face an ever-creeping, constant pressure that the decisions they make in high school actively determine their path in life. Their problems might look small to adults, but from where they stand, the difference between low and high performance feels as if it could set them on an entirely different trajectory. The stress and anxiety teens feel about their future takes a toll on their minds and bodies.

How do we take some of the weight off the shoulders of high-performing teens?

Teens learn resilience when faced with difficult situations. In order to build this skill, teens need positive stress in their lives. For most youth, the stress of good grades and high performance as an athlete or musician is exactly the sort of positive stress that teaches effort, focus, determination, and teamwork. Stress becomes toxic when it is ongoing and without buffering. Adults act as buffers by being supportive, responsive, and caring to teens experiencing stressful circumstances. Ask yourself, why is your child’s high performance so important? Is it so they win or are the very best? Or is the priority that they develop esteem, work ethic, and resilience?

When walking the tightrope of encouraging high performance and supporting youth and their mental wellness, remember that most lessons are learned in the losses. We can hold teens to high standards all while demonstrating we care for them when they fall short of their goals.

5 Things You Can Do:

Talk to your teen about what is causing them stress. Let them know they can always come to you if things are feeling unmanageable to work through problems together.
Demonstrate your support and care when they fall short of their goals. Acknowledge both their hard work and their ability to do better next time.
Let teens foster an identity outside of performance. Praise them when they make an insightful comment, do something kind for another person, or creatively solve a problem on their own. Celebrate their effort, not just the outcome.

Examples of Buffering

A high performing teen is feeling daily pressure from a parent to excel in school and sports, from a coach to lead the team every game, from a teacher to score the highest on the test, and from social media to look a certain way.

Parent: “I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. This has been a really challenging month. What are some ways I can support you?”

Coach: “That was a tough loss. You showed some real grit in that game. You never gave up.”

Teacher: “I noticed you’ve been tired in class this week. Are you doing ok? I’m here to talk if you need some help.”

Set boundaries. Work with your teen to mutually prioritize habits that feed their physical and mental health. How much sleep is right for them? How is social media impacting their mental wellness?
Check out the Developmental Assets® Framework. Learn about the ways you can support, empower, set boundaries and expectations, encourage constructive use of time, while fostering your teens’ commitment to learning, positive values, social competencies, and positive identity.

Kat Barrow is a Community Prevention Specialist at Tri-County Mental Health Services in Kansas City, MO. She earned her Masters of Public Health from the University of Nebraska Medical Center. Kat is passionate about creative, inclusive approaches to improving community health and wellness.